According to the little doobry-whatsit on the site of my Twitter profile, I’ve been on this daft little platform since 2008 and, my god, have I seen some utter shite in those past 8 years. I’ve watched friendships fall apart, people self-destruct and others morph into bizarre creatures but, that being said, I’ve also seen amazing people come together (both in sexy ways and friendships), folk’s careers boom in wonderful ways and others get a voice they might have otherwise never of had. So how do you keep sane/survive on Twitter in 2017? Here are a few ideas to get you started:
1. Blocking and unblocking
I always like to watch this happen just for the sheer awkwardness that it results in.
‘@human it looks like we don’t follow each other anymore :(‘
‘@human2 Oh, that’s weird! Must be Twitter playing up but I’m following you now!’
You do this to force their account to unfollow you but you don’t want them to know about it. Make your life easy – if you don’t want to follow someone anymore, that’s ok! You don’t need to blame Twitter, just unfollow and move on.
2. Following and unfollowing repeatedly
There’s a high chance you’re doing this to get their attention and/or to get them to follow you back. Do you honestly think they’re going to have a high opinion of you if you keep forcing your way unnecessarily into their notifications? Do yourself a favour and try replying to their tweets/engaging in conversation instead. You never know – they might respond and you guys might build up a friendship.
3. Creeping
Twitter is a very open platform. You can see everything someone has to say (unless they’re private of course), but what you choose to do with that information is something of a gray area. Say you hate/dislike someone and you’ve made it quite clear that you’re not a fan. Don’t then waste your bloody time creeping on their tweets to see what they’re saying. If you don’t like someone, move on with your life. I promise you that it’s not worth getting worked up about them.
4. Thinking everything is about you
This is a partial tie-in to number 3. If someone doesn’t like something that you like and they tweet about it, don’t presume that it’s a personal attack. In most cases, it will have absolutely nothing to do with your interests. We all like different things and there’s nothing wrong with that. If you guys are friends, try talking to them and turn it into a nice conversation or if you hate them, scroll on past it/stop creeping.
5. Subtweeting
I’ve never, ever liked this. It stresses me right out and it’s cryptic as fuck. If you don’t like that person, don’t waste your time composing a tweet about it in a vague fashion.
6. Comparing your life to others
Everyone’s life is different and there’s very little you can do about it. Take me for an example: I tend to tweet light hearted stuff that’s mainly positive, but that doesn’t mean my life is wonderful. I have some insanely dark days and I’m probably not always as happy as I make out.
Your life is what you make it. Enjoy it and enjoy being you. You’re not on this earth to be an exact replica of someone else.
7. Arguing about something you don’t understand
If you’re about to wade into an argument with someone on the Internet, make sure you understand what the hell is going on first. Or at least ask if that person could point you in the direction of some good reading material or if they’d take a few minutes to explain. You never know – you might actually learn something and make a new friend.
8. Enjoy it
Have you ever stopped to think about how amazing Twitter actually is?! I’ve met some amazing people on there, got jobs thanks to 140 characters and enjoyed every bloody minute of it. Enjoy Twitter but don’t take it too seriously.
