Hello. I’m Professor Jen Rankine. Ok, fine. So that was yesterday and now I’m just bog standard Jen. But imagine it was yesterday and that I have a fancy title.
For some reason unbeknown to man, I got invited along to a Google Expert event. And you know what? It was bloody awesome. It was also really weird. So weird that I’m not entirely sure how to explain it, so I figured it’s best to leave it to the experts:
The Edinburgh Experiment
We’re conducting a night of experimental food, drink and fun to celebrate Edinburgh’s best and brightest brains.
You’ll be donning lab coats, discovering edible dishes inside petri dishes and test tubes from Jelly + Gin, and analysing scientific cocktails.
So, yeah. Clear anything up? No…? Thought so. I donned a lab coat, clipped on a bow tie, slapped my ‘Professor’ sticker above my left boob and went on an adventure. First room – gramophones. Looks pretty, made some noises and then left.
Room 2 – Selfie room.
Now we’re talking. This is something I’m pretty good at. But I discovered it’s something I’m pretty good whilst in the comfort of my own home and that self-conscious mode kicks in when you’re in an open photobooth. And for that reason, this is why I look like a twat in these photos.
Enough of that. Onto room 3 – food stuff.
Sat down at a nice wee table and asked if I’d like some Thai broth. Yes, yes I would like some. A steaming bowl was placed in front of me and I thought that was it.
The nice food bearing lady then returned with a syringe. I was a tad baffled. Then she start scooshing it into my broth. It was only bloody liquid noodles! Ok so the term ‘noodles’ is a tad overkill seeing as it was a magical mixture of coconut milk and something (?) else but when it hit the hot soup, it turned into stringy stuff. Magical.
Pinched from Cat Morley
Moving on. Time for desert! First up, gin jelly from Jelly + Gin in a petri dish. Obvs.
Next up – mother fudging space ice cream! Tastes nothing like ice cream nor did it transport me into space. And it gets stuck in your teeth so you start talking like an angry pirate.
And then there this. Edible insects. Pretty sure all insects are technically edible but who am I to be a pedantic wanker? Not going to lie… this was a toughy. But I did it. That grasshopper went into my mouth. I can only describe the taste as being the smell of fish food. Not tasty nor revolting but managed to get grasshopper bits mushed into the space ice cream leaving my teeth as rough as sandpaper. Mmmm.
Time for something less gross. Chocolate with edible perfume that once sprayed, changed the flavour. Think my tastebuds were busted ’cause it all tasted like a taste sensation. Probably because I’d just consumer Jiminy Cricket 5 mins ago.
Onwards to the room full of lies, deceit and scientists. These buggers meddled with our minds and made me doubt how I taste cranberry juice. I was also clapping like a giddy toddler as they bounded around like lambs teaching us shit. With alcohol.
Pinched from David N Anderson http://www.dnanderson.co.uk/
Lastly, cocktails in the only container they could possibly be in at an event like this – beakers. FOR SCIENCE!