A lot has happened these last few months. I’ve moved in with a boy (mega eww), I’ve apparently grown up so got dental insurance and I dressed up as a vending machine. That last bit probably voids my last statement…
But sometimes that’s just not enough. To fill that weird void in my mundane life, I ate some awesome food. Surprise, surprise! I’m really good at shovelling grub in my mouth and, most importantly, I’m an amateur burger consumer. Why amateur and not supreme ruler of the burger world? Well because my pathetic stomach doesn’t allow me to finish them on most occasions and I then proceed to look at the chaos I’ve caused in front of me with a sad glint in my eye.
It doesn’t stop me though. No sireeeee. Enter Burger Meats Bun‘s aptly named event the ‘Meat Up’. Now this just didn’t include normal BMB food. This included food from the culinary wizard and Sous Chef for a fancy pants Michelin starred restaurant Mark Donald. At £22.50 for three courses, it was an utter steal and I’d be a proper dafty to miss it.
First things first – a calendar alert which annoying had the wrong time. Super unhelpful and before you start, yes that’s a lot of emails and stop sniggering at the battery percentage.
The menu. Whilst it doesn’t look particularly appetising straight away, let me tell you something. YOU’RE BLOODY WRONG. And now we can move on.
Whilst you wait for your starters, you’re handed a tiny pot of popcorn. Sure there’s nothing special about popcorn but this was a tub of popcorn chicken. Wait… shouldn’t this be covered in breadcrumbs then? No and if that’s what you’re looking for, head on over to KFC. This was popcorn covered in chicken salt and let me tell you something – it was like a little taste sensation in my gob. So much so that I licked the remaining salt contents out of the pot. No shame.
We didn’t have to wait long before the next course appeared in front of us. I was apparently too mesmerised by the smokey appearance that I wasn’t fast enough to snap a photo of the dry ice. Just imagine this photo with a bit more poofy and swishy stuff around it. It’s good to pretend.
See those little ball things. Those things were fucking delicious. One bite into them and your chops were covered in a creamy smoked haddock goop that left you wanting more. Sadly it was rationed to one each but I could happily fill my gob with a plateful.
The smoked haddock soupy thing was honestly not what I expected but in all fairness I’d never consumed Cullen Skink. It’s a bit like a fancy Miso soup minus the tofu. To finish off the smoked haddock feast, wafers were provided. With the consistency of a prawn cracker that was slightly grey in appearance, you’d honestly think they’d be a bit weird. WRONG. Overall, pretty darn tasty.
BURGER TIME. This is the shit I had been waiting for. A burger with two patties, cheese and lobster mayo. Yes, you heard right. Frickin’ lobster mayo and it was amazing. Cheese was slightly too strong for my tastes but I’m pathetic when it comes to that stuff so I’m honestly not surprised.
Then there was the Poutine or the Hot Mess. Now, I’m not sure what kind of meat this is but it’s definitely of the pig variety. And do you know what? I don’t actually care what is was because I could have devoured the lot. Could being the optimum word there because I failed spectacularly and didn’t manage half of the pot let alone the burger.
Worst. Burger. Consumer. Ever.
And then there was desert. This was shrouded in mystery until we our eyes widened once it glanced at the menu. So you may just think that that’s an eclair. NOPE! It was a Snickers eclair. Homemade pastry made with peanut butter and caramel topped with chocolate, peanuts and an unspecified white thing that I quickly gobbled up.
Genuinely delicious and even though I couldn’t manage the entire thing, it was quickly snapped up from the plate.
If one of these things pop up again, I’m there. And so should you be.
Here’s a sexy burger to end on.
